Merciful Father,
You see the mess we make
trying to receive what only You can give.
You see the striving, the jealousy, the bargaining
and yet, You do not turn away.
Rachel envied Leah.
Leah envied Rachel.
Both women were loved and unloved,
blessed and barren,
torn between what they had and what they lacked.
Lord, I confess
I know that tug of war inside myself.
Wanting what others carry.
Resenting what You’ve withheld.
Forgetting to rest in what You’ve already given.
Rachel cried out,
“Give me children, or I die!”
Her ache was real.
Her longing was loud.
But her grasping led to desperation,
not delight.
Leah gave sons,
but still felt unwanted.
She named her pain again and again
Reuben, Simeon, Levi
each one a hope
that someone would finally see her.
Yet You were there,
not only hearing
but intervening.
Even when the family fell into foolishness
maids turned into mothers,
children named like trophies
You kept working.
You answered prayer.
You opened wombs.
You filled arms.
Not because they deserved it,
but because You are gracious.
Lord, I bring You my places of barrenness
not just of body,
but of heart,
of hope,
of peace.
And I ask You to open what’s been closed.
To silence the rivalries in my soul.
To break the comparisons.
To free me from trying to earn
what You give as a gift.
You remembered Rachel.
And in Your timing
not hers
You gave her Joseph.
And she said,
“God has taken away my reproach.”
You turned her disgrace into delight.
You lifted her head
and placed a promise in her arms.
Do that in me, Lord.
Take away the shame I carry,
the whispered lies that say I’m less,
the years I’ve spent trying to prove my worth.
Let me name this next season not after my pain,
but after Your mercy.
You are the God who blesses in the midst of brokenness.
Who brings fruit out of dysfunction.
Who gives not because we bargain,
but because You are good.
I give You my envy.
I give You my emptiness.
I give You my wrestling heart.
And I receive Your love.
Your timing.
Your presence.
That is enough.
In the name of Jesus,
the greater Son of Rachel,
who came not through striving,
but through surrender
Amen.